Jesse James Garrett

When does a leader turn to outside support to strengthen themselves? How do they know when they need it?

This was one of the key topics that came up as Peter Merholz and I talked with Amy Lokey about her ascent to Chief Experience Officer for ServiceNow on the latest episode of our design leadership podcast Finding Our Way. She emphasized the importance of outside perspective to guide her work—whether through team feedback, peer community support, or formal professional coaching.

“I have absolutely engaged with professional coaching all along the way,” Amy says.

Along her coaching journey, she’s made the connection between coaching in leadership and coaching in professional sports. And although I don’t work with athletes (I can’t help with your jump shot!) the parallels she calls out resonate with my own practice.

“[Whether you’re] representing the company on stage or going into a high stakes meeting, it’s very much a performance athlete kind of role,” she says. “You’re under pressure, and you’re getting evaluated continually. It’s competitive.”

In my experiences both as a leader and as a coach, it’s these high-pressure leadership performance situations that count the most. Because in those situations, your success or failure rests entirely on your moment-to-moment choices—choices no one but you can control.

“The psychology behind all of that is really important,” Amy says. “What are the head games that you’re playing with yourself that might be setting you up for success or not?”

It’s tough in those moments because of the psychological isolation of leadership itself. “Frequently in these roles, you’re the only one in this role,” Amy says. “When you get to a certain point where you’re the head of a function, it gets lonely real quick because no one else does what you do.”

Although I’ve been a coach for years now, I had worked with coaches as a leader for many years before that: Sales coaches. Business coaches. Performance coaches. Storytelling coaches. And other coaches besides whose areas of expertise are not so easily prescribed.

What they did for me, more than anything, was equip me for high-pressure situations that challenged me.

Those experiences led me to want to do this work. To open doors for others in the same way that my coaches had for me. But perhaps most of all, I’ve been motivated to end that sense of loneliness that so many leaders feel forced upon them. To be there to hear them when it feels like no one can.

Thanks Amy and Peter for a great conversation! We covered so much more beyond this topic, so please check out the full conversation in your favorite podcast app or on our spiffy new Finding Our Way website.